I Got Disqualified But I Wasn't Really Cheating

[John Schubert T*A*R*T]

Well, I was cheating and didn't get DQd. It was about 1952, I was about 17 and even more obnoxious than I am now if you can believe that. I had a brand new Banjo Neal clone.

In those days, we had boat weight and boat and driver weight In C Alkie/pro it was 150 pound boat and 315 pound driver adnd boat--no engine weight (since we all ran the same.) A buddy of mine and I carried the new boat a couple blocks down the street from my home to his father's supermarket.

We stood the boat on its transoms handles on a huge produce scale with a three foot dial--149 pounds. In my usual cocky manner, I said perfect! It'll gain a pound of water and besides race scales are not that accurate.

I got two of my career best starts and won both heats--didn't take an ounce of spray. Marine Major "Red" Thomas was Weigh Master. He said the boat weighed 149 pounds. I said, "No way, I weighed this boat on a precision scale at the Greater Central Market with several dozen witnesses, which was true. He called the Chief Measurer, Henry Wagner (a long time friendly rival) over to weight the boat. It weighed 149 pounnds. I repeated my true but bullshiiit spiel until finally he said, Get out of here KID, we have boats to inspect."

You know, I still feel bad about my smartassedness 60 years later.

Russ, regarding this, "I still feel bad about my smartassedness 60 years later" no you don't. LOL

[russhill]

Yeah, I do. I just beat the system, not the boat race I beat the small time guys helping us run the boat race. Now if it were the IRS, which I have beaten 12 times, that's different.

I have a theory about cheating (except the IRS). To cheat in racing or other life situations, you have to look into the mirror and say to yourself---"I'm NOT GOOD ENOUGH" to play on a level field, I gotta cheat." And if you cheat and win, you've confirmed your inferiority. Rationalizations, like "those other guys are cheating and winning is not good a enough excuse,

[jrome]

Here in Texas we call that the Code of The West. IF its not your dont use it. If it is not true dont say it. and if it is wrong dont do it.

[Ron Hill]

Russ has really Hi-Jacked my thread. This thread was about how I got disqualified when I wasn't actually cheating. In my brother's case he WAS cheating.

Jimbo and I weren't and still aren't very mechanical. My dad sawed mine and Jimbo's spark plug wrench out to about 4 inches long. My old man said we could tighten those spark plugs as tight as we wanted with those short wrenches....Before man dad cut the wrenches off, we'd just tighten those plugs til they got loose, then loosen them a half turn.

Jimbo found this brass elbow fitting that just fit perfect on a KA Mark 20-H carb, it made a great spray shield. Jimbo had figured out how to screw it on so it didn't fall off. Roy Miner was the inspector at Salton Sea.


Roy disqualified Jimbo for having a Velocity Stack on his carb. Hell, Jimbo and I didn't know what a velocity stack was. But, Jimbo got tossed out, and didn't get a third place trophy that day.

[Ron Hill]

If I had all the money I spent of MOD VP over the years, I might have ....well. Anyway, my friend, Fred Hauenstein, was working for Mercury, and he was also OPC Vice President or at least he was on the commission. He might even have been President of APBA at the time.

Just for the record, at the time I had a Johnson powered Sleek Craft (white), a Mercury powered Sleek Craft (red) and a maroon Lavey with a Yamaha. Freddy convinced the OPC commission that everyone should run stock blocks to make things even.....and stock heads...except Mercury, they could run hundred off heads....

Shocker!!!, the Mercury MOD VP motor could usually win....

So Harris wants to take my MOD VP to Walker Lake. I basically told him, that with Walker being high elevation, that my Yamaha wouldn't run for sour apples. AND I wasn't going with him, as Walker Lake and the moon have much in common. But Jimmy wanted to race.

Well, he won MOD VP. Henry Wagner was the inspector. He looked at the boat and engine, and said, "Old Man Hill's motor (my dad built it) huh??? Jimmy said, "Yes, sir!" Henry said get it out of here. As Jimmy walked away, he added, "But I changed the heads!"

I didn't get mad at Jimmy over it, I was discussed with APBA for passing rules that caused a manufacturer, who now has 60% of the outboard's world market, to not be competitive.

Of course, at the time I had more than 20 Yamaha V-6 short blocks my dad had built out of Yamaha's trash bin....plus two or three motors Yamaha GAVE ME!

[John Schubert T*A*R*T]

Russ has really Hi-Jacked my thread. This thread was about how I got disqualified when I wasn't actually cheating. In my brother's case he WAS cheating.

Jimbo and I weren't and still aren't very mechanical. My dad sawed mine and Jimbo's spark plug wrench out to about 4 inches long. My old man said we could tighten those spark plugs as tight as we wanted with those short wrenches....Before man dad cut the wrenches off, we'd just tighten those plugs til they got loose, then loosen them a half turn.

Jimbo found this brass elbow fitting that just fit perfect on a KA Mark 20-H carb, it made a great spray shield. Jimbo had figured out how to screw it on so it didn't fall off. Roy Miner was the inspector at Salton Sea.


Roy disqualified Jimbo for having a Velocity Stack on his carb. Hell, Jimbo and I didn't know what a velocity stack was. But, Jimbo got tossed out, and didn't get a third place trophy that day.

Your dad & mine were so much alike. MY dad did the same thing on a spark plug wrench. I still have it in my tool box & show it to every one when I help them with their motors & the reason why.

[Ron Hill]

I was trying to find Ted's name on Google the other night. I was told he played for the Semi Pro Football Team the l.A. Dons. They played at Gilmore Stadium, same place that they race politically incorrect cars called "Midgets". But, I could not find a list of players for the the Dons.
When Ted started racing he built his own glass boats called "Pumpkin Seed", they were 9 foot Rinker Type round bottoms. They were slow as hell compared to "Real" hydros. His "Pumpin Seeds" were really runabouts, but too short for APBA rules.
So Ted, bought a Mishey Hydro and a Mark 20-H. Mishey boats were short for a 20-H and had a bad habit of blowing over. Ted made a gas tank that bolted to the steering bar (Kind of a "sissy bar" for a hydro). This tank kept him from blow over. Well the mother inspector, NOT my dad told him he could not have a gas tank outside his boat for safety reasons and disqualified Ted. Of course, no one told Ted he was disqualified. So, he raced again with his steering bar tank. The same Inspector disqualified Ted again.

About a month later, we get a letter telling us Ted May has been "Beached" for a year for two disqualifications. By this time six months has gone by. Ted took his tank off the steering bar, waited out his suspension and started racing again.

Ted may have "Cheated" using "Spunk" in his fuel, but that isn't what put him on the beach for one year...

[Ron Hill]

I was to race the Paris Six Hour Enduro on 10/8/73. Seems I stayed home from Paris, France and my daughter was born on the day of the race 10/8/73.

That November there were at the Kilo trials at Parker, Arizona. I went to the kilos and ran my Scotti through the kilos at 108 MPH to get in the Evinrude 100 MPH Club.

Jimmy Hauenstien had his Bell Craft Hydro there with a "Factory" Evinrude on it. The problem was, Jimmy was not qualified to run the kilos because he had NOT finished 1st, 2nd or 3rd in a race during the last year. So, Jimmy asked me to drive his boat through the kilo.

I registered in "S" Class and ran a two way average of 122 MPH and change. I was pretty pumped about the record, 14 MPH faster than my Scotti. Well, the inspector, Glen Schaid, said pull the port covers. My dad pulled the port covers and said, "Oh my god this motor is illegal." I say it is from Evinrude is must be legal....

Well, the new "S" motors were going to be legal in 30 days, but this one was NOT legal and I got tossed.....Something about running 122 mph in a kneeldown hydro, no capsule......still makes me wish I'd have gotten the record...

[John Schubert T*A*R*T]

I was to race the Paris Six Hour Enduro on 10/8/73. Seems I stayed home from Paris, France and my daughter was born on the day of the race 10/8/73.

That November there were at the Kilo trials at Parker, Arizona. I went to the kilos and ran my Scotti through the kilos at 108 MPH to get in the Evinrude 100 MPH Club.

Jimmy Hauenstien had his Bell Craft Hydro there with a "Factory" Evinrude on it. The problem was, Jimmy was not qualified to run the kilos because he had NOT finished 1st, 2nd or 3rd in a race during the last year. So, Jimmy asked me to drive his boat through the kilo.

I registered in "S" Class and ran a two way average of 122 MPH and change. I was pretty pumped about the record, 14 MPH faster than my Scotti. Well, the inspector, Glen Schaid, said pull the port covers. My dad pulled the port covers and said, "Oh my god this motor is illegal." I say it is from Evinrude is must be legal....

Well, the new "S" motors were going to be legal in 30 days, but this one was NOT legal and I got tossed.....Something about running 122 mph in a kneeldown hydro, no capsule......still makes me wish I'd have gotten the record...

Ron,

I didn't think that there were specs on "S" class motors. As an employee of a manufacturer you had to race "S" class & since I was employed by Lawn-Boy they made me run in "S" class, and if I recall other then cubic inches it was run what you brung. Nevertheless, there might have been some specs of sort.

[Gene East]

Your dad & mine were so much alike. MY dad did the same thing on a spark plug wrench. I still have it in my tool box & show it to every one when I help them with their motors & the reason why.

Does anyone still have one of the AC spark plug wrenches that Gerry Waldman used to hand out? They were preset to "brake over" at the proper torque setting. There was no thread stripping with them

Sure wish I still had mine!