BS - Boat Stories

**Master Oil Racing Team** · 09-07-2007

I had a long answer to your question Ray, but then my computer crashed twice so I never tried again. The short answer is no more signs and the rest of the story is that it caused me a lot of grief. We all understood the meaning out of frustration, but for those that didn't, It made them plenty mad.

Now this BS story comes to mind after looking at and reading comments about Skoontz's rendering of Miss KT's boat in a port side red and starboard side green color scheme. The comment about it being one color down one straightaway and a different color down the other was very funny. It reminded me of a story I was told by Joe Rome a number of years ago and retold it here on BRF awhile back, but it really belongs in Russ's BS thread. I would like to be on the sidelines and hear Joe tell it to Russ in person, but anyway....here goes.

Joe has loved and been around racing since he was probably 6 or 7. When he wasn't boat racing, he was involved in car racing. I don't remember who owned or drove the car, but early one Sunday morning they were headed to a stock car race south of Houston. They stopped at a service station in Ganado. In those days US 59 went straight through all the small towns. No bypasses. When they went to start the car the motor just went "rrruunhh......rrruunhhh". The tow car had a hemi that had just been reworked and was tight. The 6 volt electrical system wasn't ginnin' up to snuff so they decided that they would push the tow car with the race car. They had a 1950 Ford with a supercharged 390 hooked up to a tow bar.

They needed to get to about 35 mph to crank up the tow car as it was automatic. For a quiet Sunday morning that race car rattled all the windows in town. They got the tow car started then headed off. Just as they got out of town they passed a red chevy pickup parked on the right side of the road. They waved and continued on.

When Joe and his buddies got into Edna, there was a road block. The driver asked "What's the problem officer?" One replied "We were told to hold you for the Constable from Ganado". Just then the Constable comes huffing up. Joe says he was the model for Buford T. Justice in every manner from looks and attitude to intelligence. "CRANK IT UP"...he roared! Joe's saying to himself "Please start.....please..please start." And it did. Everyone in the car was momentarily relieved until the constable began looking back and forth between the tow car and the race car said "What? Black.....red? Did you guys see a car towing a red race car go by"? "Yep" , blurted out the driver, "goin' about a hunnerd an twenny miles an hour."

That was about the time Joe glanced back at the tow car and saw the reflection of their black race car in a show room window with the right side covered in red primer from unfinished repairs from the previous race. "Oh Lord, please don't let them look up....please Lord." Joe was sweating bullets when constable Buford T. Justice promised "We'll git em on the way back."

They took the long way home. And that ain't no (bleep)

**Doug Martin** · 10-12-2007

Let me tell you. How I have loved your B.S. Stories since I can remember.
Rick Jerome & I would love to hear your stories. I think I can still remember some and that has been 48 years ago. Thanks Doug Martin 7-C

**Ron Hill** · 12-07-2009

It has been awhile since I have written any real BS, Big Stories, but some how Bill and Mary Koch's name popped into may head.

Bill was kind of tall and lanky with red hair and side burns. Had he worn a cowboy hat he'd have looked like a cowboy, don't recall what his wife looked like, but I once escorted their daught to a school dance.

Bill had raced B Hydro with a Swift, I think, with little success. My dad was trying to help him, and talked them into buying a new DeSilva. His wife, Mary was going to race the new DeSilva in AU, all stock runabouts in those days had open cockpits for a front seat.

Bill got the new DeSilva and went to Long Beach to test.

About two days later he stopped by our house and he looked like he'd been in a hell of a fight and lost. My Old Man asked him if he wanted some boxing lessons?

Bill said, "No, I was testing at Long Beach and hit a ski boat roller and I went so high in the air that when I came down I sheared a pin, and I flew into the front seat. Just as I was grabbing to hang on a piece of the shearping that was still in the prop shaft caught the prop and threw me into the back seat, as I grabbed the steering wheel, that part of the pin sheared or flew out and into the front seat I went again.....

Now that is a NO **** STORY!

Our first race that year was at Carlsbad, and in BU, Bill broke out front with his new DeSilva, and Hill Mark 20-H. He'd never been in the lead before, and lead almost all the way to the first turn. Bill kept looking over his shoulder like asking when is everyone going to pass me??? He was pulling ahead. It appeared from the shore that he reached back and pulled his spark lever and the boat stopped and everyone passed him.

Bill raced A and B Runabout at Long Beach about a month later. But I never saw Bill and Mary again. Some people go to races to have fun. Some people go to races to win.

The story of the shear pin has been stuck in my mind for 53 years.

**Tim Chance** · 12-07-2009

Originally Posted by Ron Hill

He'd never been in the lead before,

That makes me think of a racing partner of mine from about 45 years ago. He had been racing about 10 years without much success. Then he got a new Konig and a 10-6 Sid. Anyhow, he got a perfect start and came hauling into the first turn and came out of the corner kind of diagonally across the lake. Everybody passed him. He realized he was last and started picking them off one by one and finished second.

When he came in I asked what happened and he told me that he had never been in first place before and he didn't have anybody to follow so he didn't know where to go.

**bandit** · 12-07-2009

Now thats a good no s**t story, i'm glad someone started this thread!!

Originally Posted by Tim Chance

That makes me think of a racing partner of mine from about 45 years ago. He had been racing about 10 years without much success. Then he got a new Konig and a 10-6 Sid. Anyhow, he got a perfect start and came hauling into the first turn and came out of the corner kind of diagonally across the lake. Everybody passed him. He realized he was last and started picking them off one by one and finished second.

When he came in I asked what happened and he told me that he had never been in first place before and he didn't have anybody to follow so he didn't know where to go.

**russhill** · 12-07-2009

The Bill Koch story about being thrown into the front seat, then the back seat and then the front seat is 100% correct. I'm not saying there's a grain of truth in the story, but that's exactly how it was presented.

I liked old Bill

**Ron Hill** · 07-06-2010

I have trying to figure out where to post this but decided Big Stories is probably the best place.

I pretty much traveled the whole summer of 1967, the last race we went to was Essex, Maryland for the Stock Nationals. Stocks were still big on those days as guys like Jerry Waldman and Bobby Herring would show up and run the Nationals, usually in the Hedlund Marine equipment.

I was defending Champion is DSR but had sold my boat and was running my marathon boat. I did finish second to Don Pontius. I had no D Hydro so I borrow Buzz Godfried's Sid. I went over and measured the Berghauer's air traps and cut mine to match (Borrowed boat but what the heck, Berghauers knew their stuff...).

Bottom line, I got to the first turn first and Dewey Berghauer saw the New York numbers on my deck and figured he'd just pinch me off at the first bouy....About the time Dewey started to squeeze me, I dumped my sponson and the spray damn near blew Dewey out of the boat. By the time he recovered I'd won the heat. It was only in inspection after the second heat, that Dewey figured out that New York boat was me.

As it turned out I was the SLOWEST qualifier in the finals. The Berghauer were the CLASS of the field...In fact they ran 1, 2 and 3 in CSH in the finals and Dewey and Dee moved over to let brother Denis win as it was his equipment....No matter they were FAST and LEGAL...

In D Hydro we had like four restarts, and every time I was last. My Old Man said, "Let's get your motor inspected and head for California..." I said, "No, I'm going to win this thing..." Next restart Denis Berghauer and I pile into each other in the second turn and I knock a hole in my side chine and sponson chine and my props chewed a hole in Denis's boat..

My old man is cold, wet and tired...No more boat gas and now I've wrecked a borrowed boat.

We when we restart, I start legal because I know I'm SLOW...BUT I START PASSING GUYS. I end up with a 5th overall behind Dewey and Denis Berghauer....and one blade looks like a 575 wing. I never straighten that blade but won probably 25 D Hydros races with if after Essex, Maryland...

Two weeks later...Deny, Dewey, and I are in New York when we met Jimmy Dean! Mr. Big, Bad John...

**John Schubert T*A*R*T** · 07-07-2010

Originally Posted by Ron Hill

I have trying to figure out where to post this but decided Big Stories is probably the best place.

I pretty much traveled the whole summer of 1967, the last race we went to was Essex, Maryland for the Stock Nationals. Stocks were still big on those days as guys like JErry Waldman and Bobby Herring would show up and run the Nationals, usually in the Hedlund Marine equipment.

I was defending Champion is DSR but had sold my boat and was running my marathon boat. I did finish second to Don Pontius. I had no D Hydro so I borrow Buzz Godfried's Sid. I went over and measued the Berghauer's air traps and cut mine to match (Borrowed boat but what the heck, Berghauers knew therir stuff...).

Bottom line, I got to the first turn first and Dewey Berghauer saw the New York numbers on my deck and figured he'd just pinch me off at the first bouy....About the time Dewey started to squeeze me, I dumped my sponson and the spray damn near blew Dewey out of the boat. By the time he recovered I'd won the heat. It was only in inspection after the second heat, that Dewey figured out that New York boat was me.

As it turned out I was the SLOWEST qualifier in the finals..The Berghauer were the CLASS of tghe ifeld...In fact they ran 1, 2 and 3 in CSH in the finals and Dewey and Dee moved over to let brother Denis win as it wsa his equipment....No matter they were FAST and LEGAL...

In D Hydro we had like four restarts, and everytime I was last. My Old Man said, "Let's get your motor inspected and head for California..." I said, "No, I'm going to win this thing..." NExt restart Denis Berghauer and I pile inot each other in the second tunr and I knock a hole in my side chine and sponson chine and my props chewed a hole in Denis's boat..

My old man is cold, wet and tired...No more boat gas and now I've wreck a borrowed boat.

We when we restart, I start legal becasue I know I'm SLOW...BUT I START PASSING GUYS. I end up with a 3rd overall behind Dewey and Denis Berghauer....and one blade looks like a 575 wing. I never straighted that blade but won probably 25 D Hydros races with if after Essex, Maryland...

Two weeks later...Deny, Dewey, and I are in New York when we meet Jimmy Dean! Mr. Big, Bad John...

Sorry Ron, Stan Armstrong was 3rd overall & I was 4th. You were 5th. Stan won the 1st heat & I was 2nd, not sure of the finishers after that. In one of the many restarts, at dusk, I had a flying legal start & going through turn 2 coming around for the white flag that was flying, they put out the red flag as they said that they couldn't get all the jumpers. For the last heat they assigned a person for every boat. Berghauers finished 1 - 2 in the final so-called only legal start.

**Ron Hill** · 07-07-2010

I think you straightened me out on this before. It seemed we ran D Hydros for two hours, and the last heat was very "DUSK"...I did get a trophy, after being the slowest boat in the race and I feel it was becasue my prop got bent on Deny's boat.

**Master Oil Racing Team** · 09-05-2011

Ron...I remember a lot of Ted May stories you posted. I posted some pictures of Ted May. I remember Miss BK posting some very funny and personal stories about Ted. I put his name up in the Search engine a couple of times and came up empty. When I added other words...I got a whole slew. So I guess you must be correct and you have to put up a specific thread. I didn't know Ted, but I knew who he was. I will put pictures and other stuff I have about Ted here.